Children seem to have this determination to want to do their best. the younger they are, the more they want it. It could be for praise, for ego-boosting, for happiness, for the love of the teacher, for the love of the activity, for personal satisfaction, for self-worth. Whatever the reason...it does them good. Why do we slowly lose it as we get older? Do we get more used to failure? Do we accept that we cant do some things? Why cant we know that we have our limits, and yet still strive for the best? There was once when I was teaching a primary 1 class. We were doing stretching. Some girls were struggling. One big mouth said "I cant do it!"....and I could see the rest of them slowly starting to give up and telling me that they also couldn't do it. I had to do some crowd control: "There's no such thing called 'I can't do it'....there's only a thing called I'll try my best"...."I'm not expecting you to get a perfect split today...all I want to see is that you try your best....so...don't say can't....say try". They perked up a little. I asked them, "so...what should you say??" The cute little things replied, "try" Sometimes as I teach adult classes, I do see the look of determination in some. And yet...there are others who give in too readily. We think that we're too old to learn new things. We sometimes sign up for courses with the mindset that we are trying things out...and will accept fate if we turn out not being able to do well in it....get discouraged, and stop trying. Why do kids keep going for classes every week, trying so hard to please the teacher and their parents (and themselves)? They (and their parents) know it's gonna take a long time to be a good dancer or musician or karate-master....and they may not even become one at the end of it. I'm not saying that all grown ups don't have determination....its just that I feel that a lot of us get defeated just by the thought of "age". Can't we also just keep trying for more than 10yrs? Or are we seeking instant results...and when it doesn't happen, we give up? Ahhh... and the last thing this reflection leads to: is the process or the end more important?
This blog article was first published in March 2014.